Purlezz's Life's Banner

2012-01-24T01:20:00.004+08:00

Regarding the previous post,

Things went...erm...

I don't know...

At least I tried? Heh.

Anyway,

Happy Chinese New Year everybody!

May you prosper well throughout the year and enjoy your holidays!

May Ang Paos won't stop flowing throughout the CNY week!

Amen! LOL!

Releasing what's trapped

2012-01-11T23:06:00.002+08:00

Hoolaa people.

Sister is back from Australia for a month!

Super happy to see her again!

Welcome back sister!

Here's the main thing.

I finally realize what has been troubling my heart.

I read my heart and it told me everything.

I really need to do something to make myself feel better.

So yea, I want to make amend.

Started the first move.

Now i'm just waiting for a reply.

Finger's crossed that it'll turn out good.

Toodles!

Goodbye 2011 and Hello 2012!

2012-01-01T04:14:00.002+08:00

I'm finally back to blogging!

Miss me?!

Been months!

Anyway,

I had been thinking about it throughout the year 2011 and what is that 'it'? Please continue reading to find out!

Sincerely,

Me.

I had my reasons why I shut my blog for long. Last year was good but there were something that totally, I wouldn't call it ruin or destroy. Can't really describe it in words, some feelings are just indescribable. But yea, it totally led me down in my relationship life.

I swore I was in love but maybe because I was too stupid and silly, I actually literally killed myself real hard inside. Truthfully I still have feelings for her but I guess what's done is done.

It's been quite long, almost a year now.

I had an awesome New Year's Eve celebration with a group of favorite people today. One of them kinda told me about her being in a relationship. It kinda struck me but I felt proud because I managed to poker face. I took the challenge not to remind myself about her, it was a tough war but I managed to conquer it a little. Hehe.

I'm sure you readers can pick up the reason why I shut my blog already right? Hehe.

So here's what i've been thinking.

I don't really care and i'm actually really tired of trying to go for someone real bad. So yea, when it comes it comes. I might be a little flirtatious though but that doesn't mean i'm trying to go after you.

I have my reasons why I don't really care because i've been single all my life and I guess i just got too used to being single. Moreover i'm glad I have my family and friends that can spark up my life and make it more adventurous! Thanks guys for existing. lol. Thank God for them too!

So here it is, 2012. I wish this year will actually lighten up this area of my life. A bad wish? Maybe.

It's really late though, it's 4.45 AM!

Before ending this post, I would totally love to wish you all a HAPPY NEW YEAR! Have a blessed one and my best wish to you all!

2011-07-12T01:49:00.002+08:00

Honestly, I still miss you.

I still thought of you every day and night.

I'm still sad about it.

You're the first I ever felt so in love.

It's miserable how I use my friend account to check you out.

It's more of a daily routine now.

Been months and i'm still doing it.

Why am I checking your blog?

Miserable much right?

Why is it so hard to forget about it and just move on?

2011-07-10T16:51:00.001+08:00

I'm still not over you.

So,

yeah.

I'm gonna stop blogging.

2011-06-16T01:54:00.005+08:00

What's on my mind right now?

I just can't sleep.

Sometimes I wonder why am I still thinking about her.

Maybe because she used to mean a lot to me?

I don't know.

It's been almost 3 months we've never spoken.

It is still tough going through days with her in my mind.

Thinking about it,

I actually kinda forgotten, what separates us?

And what did it go wrong?

I used to blame everything on myself for what had happened but now,

I just don't know?

And whenever I think about it, it struck me in my heart.

I don't know if it's normal but things still lingers around my mind.

And my heart felt it.

Sometimes I just don't know what to feel.

Yea, I still miss her.

But I guess that's not wrong right?

It still bothers me.

The feeling of wanting to hold you in my arms...

The Last Story?

2011-05-24T13:50:00.002+08:00

Last year was pretty hectic, after going through emotional times leaving friends and relatives behind. I'm not healed by these problems but still managed to just live better than before. Last year was pretty interesting, met a girl through online and it was the silliest introduction ever. She was spamming my wall on my friend's behalf, silly right? But it was all cool.

I met her in reality through fetching my friend, her and her sister to their ballet class. Was staring at her big cute beautiful eyes from the mirror while I was looking back. Didn't really recognize her though not till I recalled something about her from my friend. Yea, I was actually pretty blur and tired that time.

Got to know her more through online. We're teens, so yea we contact through Facebook! Thank Mark for that! It was a beautiful time knowing her. She's a pretty interesting teen, different from most i've met. Then after awhile, stars starts shining brightly in my dim eyes and pop, I gotta know i'm interested in her! And yea, that's when the interesting story starts!

Told her the truth, things went pretty well. The feeling was awesome and it feels great to have someone who we can share and talk to about EVERYTHING! Oh yea, her pet dog died on that day I told her about my feelings. Yea, karma hit me at the wrong time.

Managed to call her out for a Christmas show in my church and it was pretty awkward at first because we haven't seen each other for months! My heart was pumping so hard it feels like i injected steroids in my heart! That awkward feeling is so indescribeable! Is that a word? I guess. Things went pretty okay that night. Was really glad that I managed to see her! The feeling of gladness, oh!

Our second meet up was during Christmas day and it was quite a fail thanks to her work? Was suppose to meet her up during her lunch hour but some girl didn't turn up for her shift so she had to stay back. Me? I was waiting in the car outside the mall actually. Bought her desserts since she was complaining about her appetite and stuff. And also bought her present too for Christmas and that's why i'm so excited to meet her. I couldn't meet her during lunch so I decided to stop by after her work to pass her the stuff. Too bad she couldn't stay any longer because her only transport is her mom. And you know, moms? Don't get me wrong alright!

At this stage, we're still close and things was still up and running well. We had one issue though, we've been talking about her studying overseas. It's not only about her studies but it's about our relationship. At that point, I know it's going to be hard but i've decided to take the risk since she wasn't an option, she was a choice. And I know I really love her, words just can't describe how much I love her! And it was my first time feeling so in love with a girl! I actually don't know what was in her mind since she's not telling me everything properly. Anyway, we spend most of our time together through phone since she's busy with her work and I really don't want to get her in trouble. We slowly build our relationship through text and calls? I remember a night I had the best talk ever, we were so crazy about each another we talked up to 3-4 hours without realizing not until we check the time! It was the best night and she was the best that I could really talk to. Now let us proceed to the second meet up?

Didn't see her till New Year's Eve when her mom told her to take the train back since it's going to be jam and she don't really know the area. Was really worried that anything might happen to her so i've decided to go through all the trouble to make sure she's safe till the train station.

We continue our sweet chats and texts as time goes by, had an awesome New Year chat with her. Was hanging out late and decided to call her to check on her, chatted for quite sometime and strangers and friends began staring at me. Dear the one, I enjoyed chatting with you. Just so you know.

Next, I was suppose to meet her during her off day, I debated with my family just to get a car to drive around actually. Tried contacting her but failed and I seriously didn't know what was going on, waited till then in the afternoon she texted me she wasn't feeling well and went to the clinic instead. Got really worried and showed all my care. Wasn't angry at her, was just sad that I couldn't see her and be there for her when she's sick.

She caught my heart, she was the thief! I was so crazy about her, I want to be by her side so badly! I don't care if she's short or people say she has big nose, I like her just the way she is. She's beautiful!

As time goes by, it's just so hard to meet her! She's so busy with her work, I almost bombed that mall! So we met up a day before my birthday. It's already 2 months and I believed so strongly that she's a gift from God! Brought her to a park during her lunch break and I was pretty nervous because it was my first time proposing a girl. She's always been beautiful inside out, her eyes is so big and cute, she had a cute and sweet smile, she's so beautiful. She's gorgeous! And she looks extra gorgeous that day. We sat on a bench in a park and chatted. When we're about to leave, I pull up my guts and hold her tight at her shoulder and nervously ask a simple question 'Will you be my girlfriend?'. She was really indecisive because she was worried about her studying overseas so she couldn't decide.

I messed up that time and I blamed myself for it till now. I didn't see her at all after that. She was just too busy with her stuff and whenever we plan to meet up, something just got to clash. I skipped so many plans with my friends and family just to make sure I won't miss the chance to meet her. At this stage, it's going to a low. I tried fighting so hard to keep her and see her but it just won't work. Second month of this year was hectic because of Chinese New Year. So I really wish I could see her on the third month.

During the third month, it was time to show our strength for each another, it's more of a test for us. I gave my best effort to keep it up alive. But one of us gave up. Slowly I was ignored and things start rolling downhill. I didn't want to give up because I just don't want to, I want her to know that I would do anything to meet you, I would do anything to make her smile, I would do anything to take care of her and I will not let anyone hurt her and will make sure there's no wound on the surface of her skin! I want her to know, my feelings for her is real and those words I said are real too.

Slowly, I tried to talk her out but she wouldn't let me know what was going on. She left me hanging by a thread for a couple of times and I still don't blame her. Things start turning ugly and I was at a point of breaking down. I hold myself up and stand strong to save our relationship but I just couldn't do it because one of us stopped fighting for us and also stopped trying. When I was really down, she gave me her promise, a promise that she'll never simply make. After giving me her word, I kept myself standing on my feet to try fix things again. Was hoping that you'll find me but you just wouldn't find me anymore.

Slowly, she broke the promise and didn't really do anything at all. I couldn't take that heat, I broke down and depressed all the way. I know she gave up on me, I know she's no more fighting to keep me. It was the fourth month by then, I really don't know what was going on but I kept trying to save our relationship. It was so tough, I broke down every night.

I actually wish you could ask me what's wrong.

I finally can't take it so I had to give up, it was the worst heart break ever. Never once I felt so in love and never once I felt so broken down by it. I couldn't take the pain I remove her in my contacts. I don't even really dare to step into places i've had memories with you before. It's just so hard.

Dear special one, i'm so sorry that I hurt you at times and i'm really am sorry. You might not know but i'm hurt too, it hurts so bad I had nightmares every night. I couldn't sleep well every night because i'm always thinking about what happened and what's happening. It's just so hard not to think about you and the things happened. Whenever I know you're hurt, I was so tempted to make sure you're okay but I know I shouldn't anymore. Though it's been like 2-3 weeks but it feels like months. Life is so different without you and knowing that I lose you, I really need you in my life actually. It's no point trying hard to like other girl because my heart still loves you. I really miss you alot, no doubt about that. I couldn't really smile ever since then, after what happened. I couldn't sleep well at all too. Every night i'll just dream about you. I'll talk to God and tell Him how much I want you back.

Now, I'm just waiting and see what will happen next. It's either you come back and we get together again or I'll just have to move on without you. I remember what you wore on the first day I met you, your 'Baju Kurung' school uniform. Hehe, you were gorgeous.

Sorry for my poor disastrous english, lazy to check my grammar and spellings. Heh.

If only there's a way to read my heart out.

Sometimes it's never too late to make things right,

but it depends on our decisions whether to want to make it right or not.

Strangers again.

2011-05-24T01:15:00.006+08:00

What's funny about us humans is

we often wish that only one person that we can't live without,

can't live without us.

But, how often do us humans show that feeling of can't live without you?

2011-05-23T23:45:00.000+08:00

Can't stop thinking bout this song.

Another shot of whiskey
Can't stop looking at the door
Wishing you'd come sweeping
In the way you did before

And I wonder if I
Ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time

It's a quarter after one
I'm a little drunk
And I need you now
Said I wouldn't call
But I've lost all control
And I need you now

2011-05-23T01:36:00.002+08:00

Didn't see you for more than 4 months

and lost contact for about 2 months

and still misses you,

couldn't sleep well every night because i'm still thinking about you,

still having this fear of losing you,

if isn't love,

tell me what it is?

2011-05-19T23:36:00.001+08:00

I'm never over
over you
something about you
It's just the way you move
the way you move me

I'm so good at forgetting
and I quit every game I've played
but forgive me love
I can't turn and walk away

should have smiled in that picture

if it's the last that I'll see of you

it's the least that you could not do

oh I will

leave the light on

I'll never give up on you

leave the light on

for me too

2011-05-19T23:25:00.003+08:00

Yes, thinking about it hurts.

But,

thinking about it allows me explore the deeper me

and see who I am, what I am capable of and what I able to do.

I'm a risk taker, maybe not all risk but risk that decides what kinda guy

i'm going to be in the future.

There is a definite certain change in me after it happened.

We can't explain them, we only can show them.

Anyway this is just to light up the mood a little here.

LOVE is like shitting on a toilet bowl, only the person who loves you and would risk everything to be with you will go through the smell and touch that shit and get the warm feeling from it...LOL

2011-05-18T23:28:00.003+08:00

I used to thank God for you,

I used to be so darn happy because i've met you.

I used to overjoy when we communicate.

Now,

I don't know what to thank for,

I don't know what to be happy for,

I don't know what to be overjoy for.

???

LOL???

Life is like this when you met someone ;

=')

='|

='(

(we won't know what happens next when it's around here.)

2011-05-18T23:19:00.002+08:00

Looking at the fact in my heart,

I actually still miss you.

Looking at my mind every now and then,

you've actually crossed it infinite times.

Looking back then,

it totally kills me still.

Looking at my world right now,

it's totally different without you.

Looking back again in my heart,

I need you,

I want you back,

because life totally suck without you.

Most said, a broken heart can make the best music out of it. Well I guess mine can't since i'm bad it in.

Heh.

2011-05-18T23:04:00.003+08:00

Looking at life now,

there are just too darn many types of humans.

When things screws up,

some tries hard to find a solution to fix it.

Some, yea we'll go with the flow and see what happens next.

Some, just stay apart from the problem.

Some, hoping to start everything again and forget what had happened.

Some, hoping for a new start, practically it's different from the previous because a new start means a new life. Starting everything means bringing back the past but will try to make it better.

Just too darn many different humans living on earth.

Which one is you readers?

Life is full of risk too.

But risk is good, at least it helps us to gain more experience in life.

If you try hard enough, you'll know what are your risk for.

2011-05-18T22:57:00.001+08:00

So why after the all of everything that came and went
I care enough to still be singing of the bitter end and broken eras
I told you I don't but
I am only trying to be the best with my intent to cure
The rest is sure to lay me ease the plural hurts of the words of reverse psychology
That's easier said
Easier than done

Realize Mraz's songs are a little different in expressing them feelings.

Kinda likes his songs ;)

2011-05-18T22:50:00.002+08:00

can I start again with my faith shaken? cause I can't go back and undo this.

I just have to stay and face my mistakes but if I get stronger and wiser, i'll get through this.

sometimes, it's never easy to get things right. to make it better or worse, it depends on situations and especially you.

2011-05-17T23:39:00.002+08:00

Wanna be a loser like me?

Stay tune!

LOL

Been listening to this song quite often =D

2011-05-15T23:33:00.003+08:00

haha

looks like i don't really care anymore,

cuz i was taught to GIVE and TAKE.

well usually what we receive is better than what we gave?

pretty evil right?

2011-05-14T13:11:00.002+08:00

I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart

That I left unspoken

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And havin' so much to say
And watchin' you walk away

Not seein' that lovin' you
That's what I was trying to do

for the best?

2011-05-14T02:24:00.007+08:00

Took the leap, to ask for the last time?

The one last question?

It's either we are back together or just strangers again.

Sorry,

I can't be a friend.

I just had to.

I have too much feelings for you inside.

Now,

we're stranger again.

='(

my mistake,

thinking that you really like me,

thought you would try to fight for the last time.

And I blame myself,

for letting this feeling to just develop.

out.

it's the second night and i'm still not being able to sleep again cos all I have in mind is just..her..

2011-05-12T18:18:00.000+08:00

What's more painful than not being able to sleep EVERY night till 3 AM just thinking and only thinking about you.

seeing you being able to live through days pretty okay without me.

LOL. why the heck am I thinking about you when you're the one who gave up on me first?

Yea, it's just too torturing.

I think i'm going mental soon. lol.

OUT.

2011-05-11T10:38:00.000+08:00

Likes this piece from Rascal Flatts, awesome singer!

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok
But that's not what gets me

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin' to do

It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I'm doin' It
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

Not seeing that loving you
That's what I was trying to do
Ooohhh....

2011-05-11T10:34:00.002+08:00

If you love a person, tell.

If you care about that person, show.

Don't hide it to yourself, else you're just plain selfish.

cheers.

Echoes of life.

2011-05-11T00:23:00.004+08:00

Since I can't really sleep every night, i've decided to make full use of my night life. I've learned a lot about life and still learning to put them in my life. What's written here is based on how I observe life so it won't be absolutely right about it.

Basically everyone is different, perfect in their own ways. No one is entirely perfect. Everyone makes mistakes, that's the fact. A video caught my eye, a clip from Wong Fu Production? I'm sure everyone already watched it right?

Watched this before it hits 200 thousand views and i'm still watching it again.

I like this video a lot because it pretty much describes what i've been through. Best part is, it's showing that guys too are affected by relationships. So girls, not all guys are jerks.

So let's start.

There's a few type of people here.

Some love keeping things simple. I love you, you love me and lets risk everything and get together and sort about the future some other time together.

"I like this actually, get together first and find the solution later TOGETHER."

Most think too much about relationship. I love you but do you love me? I don't believe you love me. What will happen in the future? Are you worth risking? Can I trust you? Can I trust myself?

"If you know that person have feelings for you and you like him/her too, everything is worth the risk and stop thinking too much."

Some, they're just wrong in some ways like keeping a person hanging by a thread. Showing them hope and you just pull off just like that? Promise something that you didn't mean it?

"If you don't like that person, please don't do anything that gives him/her hope or keep him/her hanging by the thread."

Looking back at Wong Fu's Strangers Again production, it opens my eyes a lot actually. I believe everyone is tested when they become comfortable with each another. And when it gets too comfortable at the wrong way, there's another chance to fix it by putting every effort you have to fix your relationship. Actually at this stage, it'll show how much they actually like each another and want to keep them together. By putting effort to fix things up or give up.

I actually didn't really like the trends telling about how do we know he/she's worth. What do we actually know about our worth? The only reason things don't work out in some relationship because you think you're worth better!

I've experienced something that's really confusing and sad? Conclusion to everything is, you said you liked me and said I was worth the risk but you don't want to risk it? Halfway through that you kept me hanging by a thread all of the sudden? And you gave up just like that.

Sometimes when people reacts is because they care. Girls, guys too do feel the insecurities. Guys can be really paranoid too especially when they're in love. And girls, why can't you just keep it simple? Why must some of you girls play it hard?

I like how some couples talk to each another about every problems that's bothering their relationship, at least they showed that they still wanna keep their relationship.

Sorry but I just can't go on anymore, something is killing me inside while writing about it.

bye.

I just want to conclude this, life is a risk. Every step, decision you make is a risk.

I'm just not over to what had happened. If there's a wish, I wish I can fall into the emptiness that is the space in between us, erase everything and bring us back together again.

I still don't get it, why?

This song's been playing in my mind.

Escaping nights without you with shadows on the wall
My mind is running wild tryin hard not to fall
You told me that you love me but say I’m just a friend
my heart is broken up into pieces

Cos i know i’ll never free my soul
it’s trapped between true love and being alone
When my eyes are closed the greatest story told
I woke and my dreams are shattered here on the floor

Why oh why tell me why not me
Why oh why we were meant to be
Baby i know i could be all you need
Why oh why oh why

I wanna love you
if you only knew how much i love you
So why not me

The day after tomorrow I’ll still be around
To catch you when you fall and ever let you down
you say that we’re forever our love will never end
I’ve tried to come up but it’s drowning me to know
you’ll never feel my soul
It’s trapped between true love and being alone
when my eyes are closed the greatest story told
i woke and my dreams are shattered here on the floor

Tell me baby why oh why tell me why not me
Why oh why we were meant to be
Baby i know i could be all you need
why oh why oh why

I wanna love you
if you only knew how much i love you
So why not me

You won’t ever know
How far we can go
You won’t ever know
How far we can go (go)

Why oh why tell me why not me
why oh why we were meant to be
Baby I know I could be all you need
Why oh why oh why

Why oh why tell me why not me
Why oh why we were meant to be
Baby I know I could be all you need
Why oh why oh why oh why

I wanna love you
If you only knew how much I love you
so why not me
(why not me, why not me)

LOL?

The Moment You Wake.

2011-04-15T00:06:00.007+08:00

The moment I close my eyes, I was holding your hand bringing you to a tall building. Walking you to the best view from the top. Standing by the window, cover you and holding you tight in my arms staring at the window watching the world moves. Keeping you safe and warm,

telling you how beautiful you were, are and always be.

Telling you how much I love you.

Telling you how much I want you.

Telling you how much I need you.

Letting you know that I want and will be there for you.

But it all went shattered as soon as I open my eyes facing the reality realizing it was only just a dream. I started off my days with droplets of tears, drowning. I couldn't accept the fact that I won't be able to hold you anymore. Though i'm still praying hard and hoping that you'll be in my arms someday.

But in the end, I still lose you.

And it kills me day and night.

Now, i'm just wondering, when will I ever heal again? When will I ever learn how to break those promises i've made in my heart which is to love, treasure and cherish you forever. You were the first i've ever made such promises.

And I wish that you'll be the last too.

Will you come back to me again?

The End.

P.S. I Love You.

2011-04-13T22:08:00.001+08:00

looking back, i hateeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeuuuuuuuuwwwww!

Yea, i was lying.

2011-04-07T17:44:00.001+08:00

some called you a bitch,

some called you a slut,

some called you a whore.

i'll still call you beautiful,

just that you wasted your chance.

come back if you want to,

cuz i'm still standing on the same ground.

it's your choice now.

2011-04-04T22:30:00.001+08:00

you made me sound like i made your life miserable.

Appreciate single-hood?

2011-03-29T09:40:00.001+08:00

http://www.facebook.com/home.php?sk=group_117070565035529&ap=1

Join if you're single! =D

Cuz there's so many friends there that would love to make you feel 'taken'! LOL

2011-03-21T12:06:00.001+08:00

I'll just sing LULLABY! =D

2011-03-18T17:44:00.001+08:00

OKAY SERIOUSLY! WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH ME! I'M ABOUT TO FREAK OUT HERE! AND REALLY REALLY SERIOUSLY GONNA FREAK OUT!

ARGH! =(

2011-03-18T17:19:00.000+08:00

I've never dream so far, I've never hold so hard. I've never fell so far, I've never fell so hard. I love you dearly, I miss you dearly, Those aren't just words, though words aren't enough to express them. Don't be surprise when your name is written all over my book of life. Don't be surprise that it'll end with your name. Don't be surprise your name appears in every chapter after i've met you. Don't be surprise that i'm still holding on to the love we had. I came too far and looking back kills my soul. I've driven my life alone before but I can't now. I was stupid, and now i'm worse. I shouldn't be showing anymore.

Fate or faith?

2011-03-17T19:26:00.000+08:00

Destinies are for losers.

I can't seem to forget you.

It's never going to be easy.

Whatever I do, wherever I go, no matter how hard I distract myself, i'll always be reminded bout you.

You never fail, to cross my mind often.

I must be dreaming still because ;

I'd rather go through hardship and be the most crazy couple ever proving that a strong love will always bring us back together. Screw the miles, screw everything because as long as we know we love each another, we will do whatever it takes to meet up and trade our love. Nothing can stop us.

Blind an eye.

2011-03-16T22:32:00.001+08:00

I should stop staring at my phone already.

I gotta learn to accept the fact that it'll never ring anymore.

Even if it rings, it's never gonna be the same.

Because it's most probably by Maxis.

Heh..=|

Decided

2011-03-16T10:41:00.003+08:00

I can't do more. I only can sit back and reminisce awhile, stand up and move on.

How hard I try, how much I tried, they don't matter anymore.

What matters now is only for both of us to just move on with smiles.

I can't stand seeing how down you were and probably still are.

Cheer up! =)

I can't be more, but I can still be a friend to you.

Obviously i'm gonna miss what we had and i'll definitely keep it as a memory.

I've been through tough times, now i'm going through a tougher time and I should be learning how to overcome it because once we learn to overcome our tough times, it's easier to handle our lives in the near future.

TeeHee! =D

The Space In Between Us.

2011-03-15T11:57:00.001+08:00

Look at my heart again
Look at the mess I've got it in
I'm trying to trust in You
To know that you'll see me
Through my pride
Through my shame
Into Your love
Into Your grace
I'm not looking back
Till I see Your face
And I'm running straight to You
Because
All I really want to do is to fall into
The emptiness that is
The space in-between us
To break this division
All I really want to do is to fall into
The emptiness that is
The space in-between us
Erase it and bring us together again
My life's like an open book
Nothing is hidden when you look
You break through my boundaries
Revealing my insecurities
But through my pride
And through my shame
You show me love
You show me grace
I'm not looking back
Till I see your face
And I'm running straight to you
Because
Here I am saying I need you
I know I need you
Here I am, I'm coming to meet you
Cause I want to see you

2011-03-14T21:49:00.003+08:00

Tell you the truth, it's not the loneliness that's making me feeling really down till like this, it's the...

Figure it out yourself.

LOOOOK!

2011-03-14T21:47:00.002+08:00

I'm filling myself with regrets =(

but

MOVE ON ALREADY!

Horizontal cloud lines

2011-03-14T20:50:00.002+08:00

I know what i'm doing now is a little childish. But I did it because I am not myself at the moment. I'm in deep pain and hurt. All I wanna find now is a cure. I just need a cure!

Dear God, be my cure?

I was so in love, I gave every of my time and effort and I hold on so long and strong, I never fail to let go. All I wanted was not only to love, but to be loved. I was all prepared and when it strikes me, I just can't explain how I felt with words.

When I hear it, I froze. I couldn't speak. I shed droplets of tears wondering what happened to everything we said. What happened to the "We'll go through the sucky road together! We'll go through every obstacles together!" I know I can't keep it low so I forced myself to continue the conversation and...

Only God understands how i'm really feeling.

Seriously, I myself want to move on. My mind's open but my heart's stubborn.

P.S. I don't care if it's too emotional but IT'S MY FREAKING BLOG! SO I DON'T FREAKING CARE! =P

My heart rules my mind.

2011-03-14T19:38:00.006+08:00

What i'm doing right now is a weird way of torturing myself. I'm actually lost in this nightmare trying to find a way back. Dear God, show me the way where I can walk again. Maybe I rather feel the hurt than feeling nothing at all because, I enjoyed loving you. =( I tried convincing myself but I failed, the feeling in my heart is stronger than the thoughts in my mind. =( I know I should start moving on but there's something that is not right and it's bothering me a lot. Who can I talk to about this? No one. Because i've never told anyone more of myself except you.

~~Now i'm always asking myself this question, why did I love you so much? Why and how did you let me go so easily?~~

Adjustment Bureau!

2011-03-14T11:55:00.000+08:00

Watched this yesterday, love the movie!

It was really touching and it's super sweet!

It's a sad love story but with a happy ending.

I'll love it if my life were to be like that too, i'm a dreamer. =P

Anyways I love the concept of this movie too!

I would rate this movie high and awesome! It is advisable to watch! =D

~~What if?~~

What's written in the book of life

2011-03-14T11:43:00.001+08:00

Decisions are meant to be respected and fulfilled.

I respect yours and now it's my turn to decide.

I'll live my life with a shattered heart but i'll just let time heal it.

At the mean time, I hope everything is okay for you and as for me too.

Wish me luck people!

Gonna build a new life, 'again'.

TeeHee =D

~~At the mean time, it still keeps me wondering why it all happen. How? It' is still bothering me.~~

Rhyme the future?

2011-03-14T11:32:00.006+08:00

I wish there's a fast forward time machine!

Taadaah!

Where am I? O.O =O

Teehee! =D

~~Truth is, I actually still love you a lot that's why it's hard for me to accept the fact that i'm losing you.~~

Who would understand?

2011-03-14T11:25:00.000+08:00

Throughout every struggles and obstacles in life, never once I could express them to anyone. Words was so really hard to find to express it. It was never easy finding someone that could really understand you at least a little too. Once you found someone that can understand you more than anyone else, you gave them all you can. You cling onto them with a thankful heart, why? Because finally you had someone that understands you better.

Now, you just got no one to talk to anymore again. Even if it would, it'll never be the same anymore.

The only One I could really share with is only God. I wish I could have somebody and i'll be their somebody too because I hate to be useless in my existence.

At the mean time, SMILES! =D

Pasting the pieces and lift me up.

2011-03-14T11:15:00.000+08:00

I've been given hope that there's a light on up on the hall and a day will come when the fight is won. And I think that day has begun.

I'm still counting on small prayers every night because i'm lost in a nightmare. I just want to wake up and leave that nightmare and live with whatever I have.

It's been quite clear, the struggles i've been through. Seeing it, it's going to be hard for me to outrun my fears.

Was everything worth it? I guess.

Dear God, can You lift me up?

I'm starting to go through days without you. Letting go was hard enough, and now losing you is the hardest. By any chance, I do wish God will bring us back together?

Ever since that night, I start talking and asking God about my life. Happy or sad, I still question with smiles and sadness. I was once a dreamer. Now i'm not only a dreamer, i'm still living my days in dreams. Should I just call it nightmare?

But one thing for sure, i'll be thankful to God because I know He's still by my side.

Now I don't wanna look forward to any 'ships'. I'm just looking forward to spending my time with my family and friends. Give them the best support I can because i've actually already had it enough. It's never gonna be easy for me but what the heck? That's life.

~~Dear God, only You know my true prayers. Can You make it possible? Though it's pretty impossible.~~

What lies in my actions speaks my feelings

2011-03-13T07:57:00.000+08:00

Truth is, I wish you didn't had to go. I wish that you'll step in my door again.

Throughout the first day after it happened, I was all hiding my emotions.

And curse the radio for playing "Back to December" while driving to work. =P

Maybe because this is the first time I take it extra seriously.

I've never so into a person.

I've never hold on like this before.

I've never showed this interest to a person before.

And now, I can't even use the word that I used to tell you sometimes just to let you know.

It was actually really hard for me.

I survived the first day by keep thinking it's going to be alright but as soon as I hit my bed, it's never okay suddenly.

I wonder how long can I actually survive?

Another truth is, i'm still in tears.

After going through shitty times and ending like this, it's never easy for me.

I hold back my ego-ness and did whatever it takes so that you'll talk to me before, Now i'll hold back the ego-ness to talk to you.

Dear Taylor,

If you were to write that song, did you really mean it?

Did you tied up your ego-ness and step into his door and apologize?

Did you really mean everything? Or is it just words of feelings but never the actions?

At the mean time, i'm gonna be like this tough dude here ;

But i'm not going bald! =D

Told you i'm tough!

Bold?

2011-03-12T07:05:00.001+08:00

I'm starting off my days with ;

Because i'm too weak to handle the truth.

And did it rain heavily last night? Because my bed were soaking wet.

But what's weird is, it's way out of position to get wet from rains.

It happened 3 times ever since.

Never once it felt this wet before.

At the mean time, i'll ;

Oh Light!

2011-03-08T17:48:00.002+08:00

Dear God,

Love

You!

Keep it coming.

2011-03-08T17:37:00.003+08:00

I have a lot of weakness!

WEAKNESS!

I can easily get jealous.

I can't ignore you!

I can't think of anyone else or any other things but you

Yea.

I can't feel any better unless I get an assurance.

I will feel worse when words are just words.

Conclusion ;

I'm

The

Suckiest

Man

Alive

TeeHee!

You

can't

blame

See

youself

Bleks

Call

Me

WEIRD

!!!

I

Know

!!!

=D

What's life?

2011-03-08T17:32:00.001+08:00

Life's personal x)

What more to say?

2011-03-08T17:23:00.001+08:00

It keeps me wondering every now and then.

All I ever wanted is just an assurance.

You're not into what you've said.

It only made me smile awhile when you said it but waiting for it the next morning, it was pretty much disappointing.

I'm not asking for more. I'm just asking for what's sufficient. That's all.

You should get my point there.

TeeHee!

Just A Personal Post For Fun!

Looking up!

2011-03-07T23:50:00.000+08:00

What's better than looking up and leaving everything to God while you do what you gotta do?!

I don't take meow's but yea, i'll give them a chance today =P

So yea guys! Look up! =D

Are they different?

2011-03-06T19:10:00.002+08:00

What are the difference between 'Yes' and 'I Do'?

'Yes' basically is a blessing from God. It's either we grab it or we leave it. 'Yes' means hoping to a more commitment in life. Not as much as 'I Do' yet so if thing's don't work out in 'Yes', it'll lead to depression. Level of depression? Depends on how much love they gave.

'I Do' is a GIFT from God. We receive it and open the wrapper. Accepting that gift means it'll belong to you for a lifetime and stepping up to more commitments. If the gift were to be gone or lost, you'll be really depressed because that gift is actually the best gift ever.

So yeap.

Short ugly updates about 'Ai'

TeeHee!
Conclusion : They are obviously different! =P

Dilemma?

2011-03-05T14:50:00.002+08:00

In a world of love, theres 3 types of choices who to be with. First choice is of course the easiest and the best, choose the person who loves you and you love them back too.

Second and third choice will be the hardest. Choosing the ones who loves you but you don't love them or choosing the ones you love but they don't love you.

First criteria. Both sides can make each another happy because they love one another. But it is quite impossible to find the ones who loves you and you love them, maybe it's possible too. =D

Second criteria. They can make you happy because they loved you but can you make them happy? That's a little selfish for you =P

Third criteria. You can make them happy because you love them but can they make you happy? That's a little selfish for them =P Guess who sketched this picture =D

So yea, life is hard to decide. =D

But you still have to decide.

TeeHee!

Just a slight update! =D
P.S. I'm not the one who sketched that third picture. =D

Dirty Little Secret!

2011-03-05T11:00:00.002+08:00

Everyone has their own dirty little secret.

What's mine? Since everyone loves calling me gay *for some reason they're jealous of my couples of friends that's why they're calling me gay! =P*, my dirty little secret is "I'm straight"

TeeHee!

I am number One! Died in Malaysia =(

2011-03-05T10:51:00.001+08:00

Hehe, had a late midnight movies with the gay-hoods. Really gay, we 3 were in slippers and shorts and Eugene just had to wear double the layers of pants into the cinema. After the movie ends, we couldn't feel our toes! Went to the toilet straight and warm dry our toes instead. Felt better after that. Older gay twin brother decides to venture around ladies toilet at night and too bad none of them were empty for him to sakai' in! =P

Yes, He is number four. I'm number One, the one that got killed in Malaysia =(

Dianna Agron! Pretty as always! Main reason why I wanna catch this movie so much! =D

Oh oh! Not to forget! Teresa Palmer! One pretty and hot chick! Loves her loads! =D Dear TP, you're super awesome! Haha! =D

Loves the 2 main girls in that movie! =D Especially Teresa Palmer =D

Throws some weights out

2011-03-04T17:51:00.001+08:00

Seriously, my life is already heavy enough and now, it's freaking heavier.

zzzz

Life Sucks! =D

Cock eye =P

2011-03-04T17:50:00.002+08:00

You know what sucks? People keep misjudging me.

=.=

Where should I look?

2011-03-04T14:53:00.003+08:00

Truth is, I actually don't know who am I to you. I don't know where am I in you. I don't know if I actually ever crossed your mind. Thinking about a person while you're chatting with them is actually very different from thinking about them while you're not communicating with them and then when you missed them so much, you'll actually try to start a conversation with them. =) Have you really miss me? =|

Hehe =D

So now the question is ;

Did you really miss me?!?!

And this always happen to me ;

Yea, it's kinda awkward actually and pathetic.

TeeHee

I'm glad that at least i'm better in controlling my emotions now. God made me stronger! Than Yesterday! =D Britney Spears. Yea Baby!

=D LOL

Starring at the clouds you've drawn.

2011-03-03T23:13:00.001+08:00

Too bad I actually can't catch that cloud anymore. Everyday the cloud's shape is always different. Seeking the shape that i really want to see that I used to see will be really hard. Too bad we can't reverse the cloud cycle and find back the shape right?

Let's study Geography =D

Some shape makes you smile, some shape makes you sad, some shape makes you cry and some shape makes you laugh! The shape that i've been seeing makes me wonder. I've seen things but I acted like nothing is going on.

I felt many things but I kept it only to myself to wonder. Seeing the clouds pass each days makes me wonder more and more. I used to see clouds that makes me smile, now i'm only seeing clouds that makes me wonder and sad.

I used to see so many stories in the clouds which makes me smile. Staring at the clouds too asked me a lot of questions which makes me smile even more. Now, seeing the clouds is like seeing nobody there. The form of life was there but it's not now.

The clouds are like disappearing now. I tried to draw them back but...

When will I see the clouds I used to see? I miss them clouds dearly.

Dear God, I suck. Help me? Please?

Drawing the clouds again!

2011-03-02T22:23:00.001+08:00

Hey people!

I'm basically back, basically only.

I've gone through headaches and heartaches from top to bottom, left to right. I got killed at times but still revived after awhile. Things been pretty shitty so yea.

Stress overload I guess.

TeeHee! =D

2011-02-06T00:37:00.002+08:00

Can you all slap me if I were to be stupid and dumb?!

THANK YOU! =D

Ways of life.

2011-02-05T14:51:00.000+08:00

Looking at my life now, I just realized my life is a lot different compare to loads of normal humans!

Do I like it?

Baby I like It! - Enrique Iglesias!

Nopes, not really. I don't really like it, not all because I actually like some part of my life.

So yeah! My life is;

mysterious! It's full of unknown ends and different roads compare to other humans.

And my life too is also;

Okay, that's weird. And yea weird.

I assume most of y'all might DENY but what can you see when you're not in my shoe? I typed as if i've been to other people's shoe before huh.

Yeah..NO!

I mean based on how I see and hear how a person live, and another human, and another homosapien, and another gay, and another lesbian, and another moth.

Yea, comparing all, they all have similarities and mine is just near to close.

So I just realize! My life works in a mysterious and weird ways! Calling me a mystery and a weird man alright! =D

...

2011-02-04T17:45:00.001+08:00

FML =)

What If?

2011-02-04T16:03:00.001+08:00

What if?
What if I'm the one for you?
And you're the one for me?
What if...

If you are the one
Then us meeting here is fate
Future with a dog named Ben
Buy a house with a fireplace
This is the first I've seen your face
But there a chance we are soulmates
I know that this might sound crazy
You don't know my name

But we can't
We can't tell
The future no
The first kiss, the beauty of the world we know
So Imma say duuuduuu duuuduuu duuudu duuudu
Baby, what if
We all can say duuuduuu duuuduuu duuudu duuudu
Baby, what if

What if [6x]

Picture me on one knee
With the perfect diamond ring
We just met, but if you say "yes"
We'd have our wedding on the beach
It could happen, raise three kids
And grow old so happily
I know this may sound crazy
Cuz you don't know my name

But we can't
We can't tell
The future no
The first kiss, the beauty of the world we know
So Imma say duuuduuu duuuduuu duuudu duuudu
Baby, what if
We all can say duuuduuu duuuduuu duuudu duuudu
Baby, what if

Don't know what tomorrow brings
But i'm still hoping
That you are the one for me
Oh and what if I had you and what if you had me and
Baby, what's the reason we can't fall in love?
What if
What if
What if

But we can't
We can't tell
The future no
The first kiss, the beauty of the world we know
So Imma say duuuduuu duuuduuu duuudu duuudu
Baby, what if
We all can say duuuduuu duuuduuu duuudu duuudu
Baby, what if

But we can't
We can't tell
The future no
The first kiss, the beauty of the world we know
So Imma say duuuduuu duuuduuu duuudu duuudu
Baby, what if
We all can say duuuduuu duuuduuu duuudu duuudu
Baby, what if

Jason Derulo

Baby, what if?

when we bling in a blong < no such sentence!

2011-02-04T15:49:00.001+08:00

Hey sapiens!

I did something cool today!

Wanna know what is it?

Yea =) Super unproductive right? =)

Whole family is out except me! =(

Booooooooooo =D

What I Want?

2011-02-03T15:20:00.002+08:00

Hi moths!

I want ang paos!

I wanna feed my wallet well!

Thicken it up!

Hah!

Anyways that's not the main thing.

I usually know what I want!

I'd actually know what I wanted in some part of life especially the crucial ones.

But now, I am totally lost in my wants and needs in that part of life.

What part of life?

Y'all are not dumb.

I want it to grow!

GroW!

GROW!

That's all I want.

Finding it was hard enough, now growing it is the hardest part in life.

No doubts!

So yea, all I can do is pray, prAY AND PRAY!

Only God can help me now!

It's so hard to see human's heart right?

OUT!

Dear God, please lead me to the path i've always wanted. Please.

Dream on Sam!

Rabbit hops on and on!

2011-02-03T15:15:00.002+08:00

Happy Chinese New Year humans!

Wish you all be blessed abundantly and be prosperous throughout your life!

=)

Now, where's my Ang Pao?

=D

AHAHA!

I Need To Know

2011-01-30T20:38:00.002+08:00

Life's been blinding me
From what I thought I'd see
Is there clarity in this insanity? (yeah)
Whats she want from me? (yeah)

Roads in front of me
Taking me astray
Are you leaving me?
Or are you leading the way?
Can you hear what I'm sayin'?

I need to know...
I need to know...
I need to know...
I need to know...

Feel like I'm tryin' to breathe under water
Tryin' to climb but I keep fallin farther (yeah)

Will you take my hand?

Feels so far away
Want to see your face
Are you even there?
Can you show me?!
Can you make me believe?!

I need to know...
I need to know...
I need to know...
I need to know...

I need to know...
I need to know...

Kris Allen

I need to know...

College tortures! Mine's not college! Mine's UNI!

2011-01-28T23:53:00.002+08:00

Hey homo's!

Again,

and again,

and again.

=D It's a hattrick post for the day!

It's blogathon time!

Is there such word

I know i'm cool and awesome! =D

Just a short one about guys leaving not massive but moderately long hair.

What happens if you have crazy girlfriends around?

Shit happens!

And what shit is that?

Look at the feminine side of me! No! I'm FORCED TOO! =(

They called me KAWAII! =O That's no good!

Some random post that I know you guys might not enjoy but

WHO CARES!

It's my BLOG! =P

I'm actually doing this because I got bored waiting...

Got bored waiting for a human...

Denise's farewell!

2011-01-28T23:49:00.000+08:00

Hi, again.

We had her farewell party at her place and it's a blast until my twin and I stayed there until 6 - 7 AM!

Usual me, lazy typer. Pictures do the talking alright?!

Reached her place around 6 in the evening. I think.

Rotted for quite sometime waiting for typical Malaysians *late comers* =P

Started off with the 'I'm shy and i'm not breaking the ice' act.

Then humans started playing tennis and it's a warm up for shy humans like me!

After breaking the ice a little, we had our dinner and I ate 8-10 pizzas!

=D Woots!

Pictures up!

We started cam-snapping, not whoring with twisting our butts and giving thousands of uncountable obscene poses! P.S. Mostly gays! =O

The first twisting game, this is the twisted group photo! =D

Just not too obscene yet.

Okay it's starting!

Okay, the photographer was a female so I forgive you ;) Haha.

Awwww! That's so sweet! =D

Wooooo! It's seriously super tiring to hold that position but yea, no worries, i'm strong enough! =P

Yea! Everyone lost! I won! =P

Why I said this game is full of obscene poses? Look at the next photo! =D

Yea, my twin offered BJ. =D BJ can stand for almost anything so don't misinterpret okay! =D

The third round! Or was it second?

It wasn't fun twisting like that! =D It wasn't easy too but its alright, I'm flexible! =D

See how hard it is for me? =D

Okay okay, the twisting night is a tiring and sweaty night! Next up we had ourselves the Wii 'Just Dance' game!

It's freakishly addictive and super tiring!

Everyone lose 1KG! Opps! Not everyone! But the ones that stayed back and played overnight especially Denise (thats her home!), Carrine, Crystal, Kathleen, my twin and I. Too bad Wen Yee couldn't join us!

Yea, the guys can look gay playing the game! Let me introduce the Just Dance master! Cheng Mun! He's a guy in black, i'll just let you all guess which one is him! =P

Look at those freaks! How you'd know they are freaks? The played till morning! Look at the time! It's AM! It's 6.50 AM!

What was I doing while they're making noise?

Yes, it's nap time for me! =P

We had our Cranium game which is so much fun! And also Charades!

It's a serious midnight blast and thanks Denise for making it happen!

Next up are random photo's taken!

The 'What GROUP IS THIS?' group picture! =)

Was playing so sad sad song while Denise defaming everyone one by one =(

Here's a picture of me with the 'Star of the evening till early morning' =D It was 7 AM + and i'm like dead!

So far that's it! I seriously enjoyed that night and thanks for that sofa! It was comfy! =D

We should do that again some other time when you're back from Perth! =D

Before I end, I created a video!

Enjoy! Doink Production is mine! HMPHS! =P

You know what to feed ;)

2011-01-28T23:14:00.000+08:00

Hey moths!

Chinese New Year is near!

And i'm like so excited! Why?

Its time for Ang Pau hunts!

This year CNY better feed my wallet well!

And I can't wait to set myself free!

FREE!

Free from what?

I'm not telling!

And you've actually changed, like literally changed a lot...

I prefer the old you actually...

And to all readers, you don't know who i'm talking about so don't think it's you okay?

La La

I can be really random talking about anyone!

Just a random post.

While waiting in the midst of boredom.

2011-01-26T09:40:00.002+08:00

While waiting in the mist of the dark, I did this.

Things that I date most. =D

Simply adorable =D

I was waiting!

Yea, I hate to not know whether you're okay or not.

It gets all moody.

Lets rock the guitar to bring back the mood!

Woots!

So far, that's how i'm living right now. Super unproductive right? =D

OUTS =D

Opps!

2011-01-23T22:38:00.001+08:00

I failed to care less!

It's just in me!

Too caring I guess?

When I say

2011-01-23T19:23:00.001+08:00

I'm so sorry for being such a JackAss!

I'M SORRY!

Forgive me please?

I haven't been good for the past few days!

SORRY!

And Love y'all!

And I Love You!

SORRY AGAIN!

In case y'all are wondering why am I apologizing?

I've been sucked up for the past few days so some people might be affected by my suckiest thoughts and stuffs.

I don't know if you are affected, and yes i'm talking to you!

I am really 'beary' sorry...

Please accept my flower?

Haha =D

Roaring the new roads!

2011-01-23T12:51:00.000+08:00

I wanna build a life that is full of laughters and happiness and loves!

=)

Great responsibilities comes a great what?

Oh shit I forgot =|

Tataz! =D

It Applies?

2011-01-22T20:45:00.002+08:00

Hey gays.

Starting today, i'm gonna be more care free.

Don't ask why.

I'm gonna be more positive about life and end those unwanted miseries.

I would love to show more care but..

Yea, there's always buts...

I'll just continue playing my roll, I hope you'll play yours too.

Out!

I shall end this post with a

Keep bleeding, keep keep bleeding.

2011-01-17T08:46:00.000+08:00

Dear moths gays homo's! =D

Yes my toe is bleeding for me, it didn't want my heart to bleed so it took place.

So sweet of you toe! =D

Yes, its tearing out of toe break, not heart break =D

Stares at the cloud on the horizon

2011-01-15T17:00:00.001+08:00

I don't know, i'm so bored till I think i'm gonna die of boredom.

I'm gonna kill this post, let this post die itself in the future. =P

I'm so bored till I can die of boredom!

Agnes phrase was 'It's so fluffy that i'm gonna die!',

mine? 'It's so boring that i'm gonna die!' *yyawwnnss*

Lame right? Yea I know.

Out!

I'd Say!

2011-01-14T18:08:00.003+08:00

I'm like so in love with Charice voice now! Same goes to Taylor's, Kate's, Colbie's, Marie's, Arvil's and everyone! And Oh oH! Kina Grannis's too! =D

Guys? I don't want to name them out because i'm so jealous of their voices! =P

Nah just kidding!

For guys, I like Jason Mraz's, Enriques's, BLG's, Ronan's! One of my top favorite! James Taylor too! Awesome Voice! Rascall Flatt's! =D Ne-Yo's, Bruno's! Oh man too many! And i'm like super jealous of their voice!

Since I can't sing, I shall scream!

Since I don't own a microphone myself, I shall use the phone! =D

Just like him!

I'm auditing myself through phone! You better listen well! RAWR! I HAVE BEAUTIFUL VOICE! VOICE OF AN ANGEL! =|

Opps, I just remember dad bought a microphone for us to karaoke at home! =|

Pray hard for my neighbors okay? So that their ears won't burst especially when my voice is monotones. =|

I'm tone deaf so I believe every singing of mine is like an angel pouring down his voice from heaven to earth! =D LOL

Just kidding, i'm not tone deaf or else how am I playing guitar? =D

But hey! Don't look down on me okay! I can crack those glasses around me! =D

Just a slight 'ugh' update! =D

Dinner for dummies?

2011-01-14T10:53:00.001+08:00

Hey gays!

I realize i've been blogging bout something that's going to a low, so here's something to bring up the mood again!

Just watched 'Dinner for Schmucks' few days back.

It's one the best movie!

You should watch it!

It's hilarious and I guarantee you, you will laugh till you drop!

I got this movie in Bluray! And I really enjoyed watching this movie! Something that brightens your dime days! =)

And and and! Stephanie Szosta is hawt! =D In the movie... =|

Aqua World.

2011-01-14T10:47:00.000+08:00

I miss the sea, I miss swimming with the fishes.

It feels like they are the only thing that can clear my mind at the moment.

I miss diving, I miss doing synchronised diving from the boat!

I hate it when I'm back in the city with loads of worries.

I hate it when things that you don't wish to happen, happened.

Diving in the ocean makes me feel closer to something special, or perhaps someone special, someone that you don't want to lose, someone that you wish you can love, treasure and cherish them for eternity.

Me wants to dive again! Dive in the ocean! Swim with those fishes! Look at the beautiful corals! Live in the aqua world.

Dear ocean, I miss *you* loads! I wish I can swim in you again. =(

Who is the Blind one?

2011-01-14T10:34:00.004+08:00

"Sometimes,
You hurt the ones who love you most.
And sometimes,
You hold the ones who leave you lost."

I'm sure this thing is pretty common right?

I wondered is this for me or you?

Hmmm...=P

Hehe

Addicted To You?

2011-01-14T10:26:00.001+08:00

I realize Enrique has a lot of emo songs!

I don't know why but I love listening to his songs now, it's more like i'm in his world of songs.

Thank you Enrique for making me more emo with your songs ;)

Have I told you how good it feels to be me,
when I'm in you?
I can only stay clean
when you are around.
Don't let me fall.
If I close my eyes forever,
would it ease the pain?
Could I breathe again?

[Chorus:]
Maybe I'm addicted,
I'm out of control,
but you're the drug
that keeps me from dying.
Maybe I'm a liar,
but all I really know is
you're the only reason I'm trying.

I am wasted away,
I made a million mistakes.
Am I too late?
There is a storm in my head;
it rains on my bed
when you are not here.
I'm not afraid of dying,
but I am afraid of losing you.

[Chorus:]
Maybe I'm addicted,
I'm out of control,
but you're the drug
that keeps me from dying.
Maybe I'm a liar,
but all I really know is
you're the only reason I'm trying.

When you're lying next to me
love is going through to me.
Oh it's beautiful.
Everything is clear to me
'till I hit reality
and I lose it all...
I lose it all...
I lose it all.
I lose it all...
Nah nah nah
nah nah nah....
Nah nah nah nah nah nah.....
nah nah nah nah nah nah....

You're the only reason,
Yeah, you're the only reason I'm trying,
Oh, I'm trying, I'm trying, I'm trying,
Don't want to lose it all,
Don't want to lose it all,
I'm trying, I'm trying..
I'm trying ...
Yeah, you know I'm addicted,
You know I'm addicted,
Yeah, you know I'm addicted....

Enjoy! =)

Never Let Me Go.

2011-01-14T10:17:00.001+08:00

This movie is one of the most emotional movie ever watch!

Its a bit slow and long winded but the movie is pretty catchy and super emotional! =(

I almost teared down when I watch this movie but yea......

It is a sad story about love and life of these people.

They were brought up in a way to donate their vital organs.

It's sad how they live their life in prison and they didn't even know!

They are like total infant in the outside world.

Then the love story is also pretty much a sad one too.

The 2 females on top are best friends but they fell for the same guy.

So yea, it's pretty much a combo sad story.

Prepare tissues if you got a soft heart!

Not In Love?

2011-01-14T10:10:00.000+08:00

You call me on the phone
I act like nothings going on
We're drivng in my car
I pretend that you don't turn me on
Ah ah ah you sexy thing
Yeah you know it yeah
Ah ah ah you move around now you show it

I'm not in love
It's just a faze that i'm going through
I'm always looking for something new
But don't go running away

It's almost 3am
I'm hoping that you don't let go
You're moving in so close
I'm trying not to lose control
Ah ah ah you sexy thing
Yeah you know it yeah
Ah ah ah
You move around now you show it (come on)

I'm not in love
It's just a faze that i'm going through
I'm always looking for something new
Don't go running away
Oh i'm not in love
I try to tell myself all the time
I just can't help how i feel tonight
So don't go running away yeah

Im not in love (yeah yeah)
I'm not in love
I'm not in love (give it to me now)
I'm not in love (break it down)
Ah ah ah you sexy thing
Yeah you know it ah ah ah
You move around yeah you show it

Hmmm?

I'm...............

Edu-shit! =O

2011-01-13T23:59:00.000+08:00

Oh oh oh oh oh!

I'm taking 5 subject this sem! =O

Screw my life!

I gotta really study hard!

Wait! harDER!

No no! HARDEST! =O

And evidently also study smart right?

Specs on and start studying boy!

So now I really need your morale support to help me study!

Push me!

Push me hard!

Push me harder!

Push me hardest!

Oh my gosh this sounds wrong. =O

Sorry i'm stressing here. =D

Anyways here's the five subject i'm taking this sem.

(BB001) Accounting Practice
(BB003) Introduction to Business
(BB004) Quantitative Methods
(CD109) Introduction to Information Technology (Diploma)
(MPW1153) Pendidikan Moral

Woohoo! I'm Doom! =D

Pray for me! Byes! =D

Extraordinary Article!

2011-01-13T16:37:00.008+08:00

Hey gays! =D

I've bumped into a site and decided to read it.

It was freakishly random me of reading the long article, I don't usually read articles much so yea praise this article okay?

When I tell you what is the article about, I bet you all won't be surprised that i've read it.

Wanna bet? =D No cheating! =D

It's about.....

Taaaadaaaaah!

LDR!

What's LDR?

It stands for,

something extraordinary,

something that requires 2 birds trust,

something that requires a whole lots of patiences and emotions.

And LDR is

*drum rolls*

Long Distance Relationship!

Sorry for being so long winded, I was just being random.

Anyways! Why this article is extraordinary, I believe almost every article about LDR is extraordinary. =D

After reading this article, it reminds me of 'Going The Distance'. =)

It reminds me of my sister and her boyfriend too. I'm like so happy for them because they manage to go through it. =) Happy for you sister! =D

And lets see what it is written in there!

The first sentence that caught my eyes!

"If you're willing to work it out, here's how to give it every chance to survive and thrive"

It seems that LDR's too do work out! =D

I'm sorry if you are wondering what's with me and LDR?

Most of the reason post is pretty obvious right?

Let's get back and look what's inside the article shall we? =D

Ask the important questions at the onset, to make sure you are both clear on the parameters of the relationship. Setting parameters such as naming your relationship (dating, seeing each other, boyfriend-girlfriend, engaged) as well as defining exclusive (limited to one person,) or non-exclusive. These can be difficult and awkward questions to ask, but will save you great heartache and misunderstanding down the line. Example: "Are you open to the possibility of relocating if the relationship should become more serious?" or "What are you looking to get out of the relationship?" Stating your end goal or ideas will allow each person to maintain what they need.

Do things together. Defy the distance. As a long distance couple, it's important to do other things together besides the usual phone call. In a long distance relationship, interaction over the phone can become dull in the long run. Incorporating other forms of interaction are important. Just think... People in short-distance relationships do not spend the majority of their time talking, but rather doing things with each other. Try to replicate this by finding things to do together such as watching a TV show or movie simultaneously.

Communicate in some way every day, more than once if possible. Since you won't be seeing each other, it's important to establish and maintain an emotional connection. These don't always have to be long, in-depth conversations. Tell each other about your little triumphs and tragedies. Ask for advice. Use an instant messenger program or VoIP for real-time chat, or web cams for that visual connection. E-mail is great so make sure you use it, especially if long-distance phone calls put a strain on your budget. Remember that e-mail and even instant messengers can increase the possibility of misunderstandings. Write love letters. Send small gifts, cards, or men send flowers for no reason. In this case, quantity is as important as quality. You may discover an advantage over others whose partner is close at hand—you don't take communication for granted! You can set up reminders, including automatically-recurring reminders, for this purpose in calendaring software on your computer or online. This is especially important when you don't have much contact with the other's friends to remember important events such as birthdays. Try not to keep too predictable a schedule; for instance, don't send flowers the same day of each month.

Take advantage of the benefits a long distance relationship offers: more time with friends and/or family, no arguments over toothpaste caps, the pleasure of seeing your sweetheart again after a long absence, time to mull your options (rather than snapping at your partner impulsively) before you respond to that email s/he wrote that seemed so rude the first time you read it, etc. Most important, being far apart gives you a chance to maintain your individuality—something that can get lost in the shuffle when couples spend all their free time together.

Pursue common interests, even if it means pursuing them apart. If there's a movie you're both interested in seeing, watch it individually and then call each other afterward and talk about it. Read a certain book at the same time. Stargaze while you're on the phone. Set your watches to go off at the same time every day, and synchronize your alarm with that of your partner. Make it a point to think of each other when your watch goes off, and revel in the fact that he or she is thinking about you, too. Find creative ways to bond.

Avoid the temptation to be controlling. People have free will and no one can or should control another person. As long as you are both interested in being in the relationship, you will stick with it and distance will not make a difference. As soon as one of you decides the other is not a good match—or someone else is a better match—your relationship ends, whether you live 3000 miles apart, two streets over, or share the same bed with your wedding picture on the wall. You are going to have to trust each other completely if this relationship is going to work.

Try challenging each other. This is not the same as being controlling. You may find that you can do things for each other that you couldn't quite find the motivation to do on your own. Perhaps you could motivate yourselves to get some exercise or to cook better or more often. It will give you something to do while you wait to see your partner again, and it will give you both something to strive for and talk about until then.

Talk about your future together. Assuming that ultimately you'd want to live together, discussing how you're going to get to that point will help you prove to each other that the relationship is going somewhere and that your efforts and frustrations are not in vain.

Remember: Things will get better with time, and even the relationship will become better. Have hope.

Visit often. Try to make the time to visit each other as often as possible or as often as your budget permits you to. A relationship cannot thrive if the only thing you have is the phone call. You need to see each other up close and personal every chance you get. The key here is to set up some "rules" about frequency of communication and visits and stick to them. Consistency can help a long-distance relationship survive.

Avoid jealousy and be trusting. One of the easiest ways to destroy a perfectly healthy relationship is to poison it with jealousy and drama. When you start a long distance relationship, you must be realistic of the difficulties ahead. It always helps if you go in a relationship with the idea that everyone is innocent and worthy of trust until proven otherwise. Don't fall in the trap of interrogating your partner every time he/she decides to go out for a drink with people you haven't met or he/she didn't get back to you right away when you called and left a message. Just because you are in a long-distance relationship doesn't mean your lives will pause. Your partner will naturally have a social life where he/she lives and so should you. Sure, it helps to have your eyes open and not be totally naive, but being overly suspicious is unhealthy for you and your relationship too. You should both maintain your social activity and be happy with yourselves.

Be positive. Staying positive and not focusing on the negative aspects of a long-distance relationship is essential to keeping your relationship blooming and your partner content. Being away from your sweetie is not all bad news. Use the opportunity of personal time to pursue your interests and hobbies as well as your career objectives. Another positive point is that long distance dating pushes both of you to be more creative, to communicate better since you don't have "face-to-face" time and to test (and express) your feelings. As long as you see the long-distance relationship as a temporary state, you will keep your chin up and transmit that feeling of security and happiness to your partner too.

Give them a personal object of yours so in a time of need, when they miss you, they are able to hold on to something that once belonged to you. This will provide comfort, happiness, and the thought of being with you.

Work towards a balanced relationship between partners. A relationship must be built on strong foundations of trust, understanding and determination to make it work. The two partners should be reasonable about their expectations and willing to cooperate so that the relationship can lead to a happy ending. If these parameters are taken care of, you have nothing to worry about. But don't forget to ask some questions because if you don't, your partner may start to think that you're losing interest.

Create your own set of relationship standards that both of you have mutually agreed upon. That creates a common goal for you to work towards, developing a strong relationship whether you are together or apart. For example, agree to disagree, accept each other as you are, practice trust and honesty, strive towards compromise and self-sacrifice, seek spiritual unity, and maintain open communication.

Tips :

Remember "Always toward absent lovers love's tide stronger flows."

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Express yourself to free up emotional weight. A poet who's written poetry as a result of a long-distance relationship is Tony Berndtsson - look him up.

A long-distance relationship is no different from a proximal relationship in that they both require a great deal of work, excellent communication, patience, sacrifice and understanding. But you will have to work extra hard to maintain the communication and to stay focused enough to not let your daily life interfere with your desire to be with the other person. Don't forget them or you can forget the relationship and it will all be over.

Sometimes phone/email/IM communication can get bland. Don't forget there are other ways to interact! Use the internet and find things you both can do together. It takes the pressure off, it gives you a break from constant talking, and it can be fun.

One of the hardest parts of a long distance relationship is connecting when one person gets busier than the other. If this happens in a relationship, it is important to maintain communication. If you are the busy person, try to warn your partner ahead of time that you will be working many hours and may have limited time. If you are the not-as-busy person, take advantage of the time by picking up a new hobby, getting in shape, reading a new book, etc. Flexibility is very important.

It helps to have a solid time in the future for when the long distance part of the relationship will end, no matter the time length. Without it, the relationship can begin to mold into something that is always distant—even with great communication. With it, each person can see the point at which the distance will end and work harder to keep emotions readily available.

When talking to your partner, take note of things they enjoy the most (hobbies, day-to-day activities, etc.), and do a little research on it so you have more to do when you see them next. For example: If your partner likes to dance, find the location of different clubs where you will see them next. If you don't know how to dance, take lessons and you will impress them by your willingness to make an effort on their behalf.

Choose a game that you can play together over the internet, whether it is a MMORPG (massively multi-player online role playing game) or something more traditional, such as chess or Scrabble. You will be able to chat while playing and it will give a greater feeling of togetherness.

Mail each other scented clothes (or even clothes smelling of your sweat—pheromones are a great way to establish intimate contact). If you can see each other once a week, leave a t-shirt splashed with cologne for your lover before you leave.

Send each other spontaneous ecards.

Make a creative countdown and mail it to your partner to enjoy until you see each other next. For example, create a photo calendar, with something you add for each day to describe what you love about them.

Do not set unreasonable expectations for your visit and/or future plans. Fantasizing about the visit is fine, but not out loud verbally or by email to your partner. Instead, enjoy the excitement of the surprises to come. By stating that a surprise is coming can allow to much thought time for the receiver and leaves both of you open to disappointments.

The Long Distance Relationship Guidebook is a well-balanced, practical book for couples in long distance relationships who need some guidance.

Buy a webcam so you can chat "face-to-face" and see each other, so when you meet you will remember how your partner looks.

Living far apart gives you both a chance to grow as individuals. Some couples break up to "find themselves", but in a long distance relationship you both have enough space to do your own things and still have a connection.

Don't be afraid to talk about the "boring" parts of your day. The trickier, almost subconscious part is maintaining the feeling of being intermingled in your partner's life, a state the experts often refer to as "interrelatedness."

It's important to talk about the future. If you're not sure how long you will be apart, try to make goals for when you can move near one another again.

Spice things up by meeting halfway (if it's within a reasonable distance) to grab a bite to eat or get some coffee. This is a great alternative if you're not able to dedicate an entire weekend with your significant other.

Don't talk on the phone TOO often. Since most of your relationship is based off of phone calls, you don't want to run out of things to talk about for the whole day. Calling one to two times daily will allow you to talk to each other without having repetitive conversations.

Warnings :

Remember, every kind of relationship takes hard work and dedication to your loved one or partner, whether it's long distance or proximal. If you and your partner are willing to take these steps, then expect bumps and turns in the road. These bumps and turns will only help contribute towards a relationship.

Long distance relationships are not for the faint of heart. They can be very trying (but so can proximal relationships).

Long distance relationships can and will test you and your partner; you need to trust him/her entirely, lest paranoia play a major part in the demise of your relationship. Also, these kinds of relationships can bring a lot of disappointment and heartache, depending on the time you spend away from each other. It is very important that if you want this relationship to work, you must make a great effort not to drift apart.

Long distance relationships are difficult, as you are emotionally attached to a person you cannot touch or comfort and this can hurt your heart and wreak havoc with your emotions. The only way to make these relationships work is if you and your partner honestly believe you will be able to survive without each other for a considerable amount of time. In a relationship, you may have negative thoughts or feelings that are not true, you may doubt your love feelings, or, because of some fights over the phone, you may feel that you don't feel the way you did before for your partner. But these feelings are like demons that will eat up the charm of your beautiful relationship.

Remember, fights are a part of any relationship, and it's up to you to deal with it or to succumb to it. You may end up your life in making and breaking relations and finally landing nowhere or in such a relation that is just socially accepted without your full involvement. If you do, you just spoil your and your partner's life.

When you are alone, take out time to see the photos of your love or any gift that he/she has given or any romantic card from them. At night, before sleeping, try to recollect those wonderful moments that you spent with your love. Try to get cozy with him/her in your dreams. Try to imagine yourself in his/her arms being intimately close to him/her. Remember those times when he/she cared for you.

In a relationship, try to make every possible effort from your side, or you may complicate your life with heartbreaks because when you got into a relationship, it was Love, and also now, it's love but more than love: it's commitment that is most important as love may fade away with time, but it's your positive attitude that will keep it alive.

A long distance relationship is a lot like having a pen pal. Keep that in mind.

It's easier to get into arguments in a long-distance relationship, because you can't always discern what someone's actual tone is through text. It's also a lot easier to say hurtful things when you're not face-to-face, but the words can hurt just the same. Take special care to watch how you interpret their words (for it might not be what they meant), and what you say when you're angry.

Long right? Happy reading =P

This encourage me to take this challenge positively! =D

Haha, I don't know about you but I sure hope you'll do this crazy stuff with me since you said you want to do something crazy. =)

Let's have a crazy adventure! =)

My family actually knows what happened and they are like 'Go for it!'. I'm so touch *teardrops* LOL! It's so awesome to have such supportive family right? =) Thank you God for them! =D

Enjoy this song =)

BLANK! =D

2011-01-13T08:16:00.005+08:00

I MISS YOU SO FREGGING MUCH! =(

When You're Too Punctual! =P

2011-01-12T21:18:00.001+08:00

Hi moths!

I know i'm awesome since i'm always more than half an hour early to class.

And when you're early, you thought the class might be empty but oh shit! It's filled with homosapiens!

Then my twin and I will be like 'Erm, what to do now? We're half an hour earlier!'. We'll just find an empty class and do our stuffs with our laptops!

Wanna know what stuffs we do? We play LAN games and the best part is, this thing requires vanity, skills and great profession in posing. =D

Taaadaaaah!

It's cam-whore time! =D

Taaadaaah! The first cam-whore picture! I look weird tho =O =|

The second one! Lalalalala =D I looked like some sick guy =O

OoooOOOoooOOO, I think I spotted some chicks, wait! No way! It's no chicks! It's chubbies. =| I'm evil right? =D haha

So where's the fourth one?

I stopped cam-whoring, why? Because there's humans starring at me from the door and i'm like 'WHAT?' =D

So yea.

P.S. As mentioned, my twin and I crashed into some random empty classes and when people starts wandering around, I felt awkward because they'll come asking you is this 'whatever subject it is' class, then i'm like sorry I don't know, I just crashed into empty classes for fun.

And boy oh boy my lecturer is super, gay.

Pray hard for me that I can hold myself instead of wanting to bash him up to make him a man! =D

HAHA.

Thats all! =D

Oh oh! Not to forget, I have a NERD IN MY CLASS! Not a nerd but 3 freaking oh my gosh eeeuuuwwww nerds! =O

P.S. I'm not evil. =(

The first nerd, he's in my previous sem class too. Why I have issues with him? He loves to stall the class especially when the class is FREAKING BORING! D=

I can die in there I tell you, some people feel like throwing their laptops at him and i'm like don't have to use that powerful thing, he's weak, throw a mouse at him and he's done. =D

The second nerd, he too loves stalling the class. But he's a little different, at least he got better sense of fashion. But sadly, in class he's always 'Momma Says'. Oh dear, there goes your 'momma says'.

The third nerd, he's lame. While the class is on, I think he's trying to be cool but evidently he fail right? He'll just watch some lame animation without any speakers or headphones on and laugh out of a sudden. I think he's mentally ill. =|

P.S.S. I'm not evil okay! =|

My lecturer is funny, why? She pronounced wireless, virusless. How cool is that? =D

Thats all! =D

Going The Distance.

2011-01-11T23:17:00.007+08:00

Hey homo's! Miss me? =D

I'm actually feeling better now.

Somehow when you look at the bright side, things in mind changes. =)

Anyways I felt way better after watching 'Going The Distance'

This movie inspired me! Tho its a comedy. =|

But its about a long distanced relationship couple.

I was amazed on how they worked it out and the trust in them is like, wow! Amazing!

It's a tough challenge and adventure for them but they still walk on the sucky road and obstacles together. =)

I know it's not gonna be easy but it is worth the try right if you really put your heart in it. =)

It's not like you're gonna be gone forever.

I don't want to let the world's common results about long distanced relationship to decide what's gonna happen to us, I want us to decide ourselves. =)

I know this is not a fantasy world but world is full or miracles and unexpected things. =)

I wish we could put it like how they did it and think positive. =)

We just need to believe and trust each another. We just need to put our commitments together. =)

That's all and I really hope you're reading this because it is from the bottom of my heart. Every word counts. =)

P.S. I Like You so much that I'l miss you every second =)
P.S.s. This movie means alot to me =)

I might be a dreamer but dreamers who chase their dreams hard do get their dreams come true right? Confusing? But yea =)

I'm so prepared to take and go through one of the toughest challenge. =D

Musics brings memories =)

2011-01-11T11:39:00.002+08:00

Just feels like blogging bout this.

Anyways i'm addicted to The First One sang by BLG. =)

If you're reading this, you might understand why. =D

After the incident last 2 years ago, my life is totally new! =)

So I counted you as 'the first one'.

Even though you're gone and far away,
I feel you all around.
I think about it every single day,
You got away somehow

I can't sleep,
It's hard to breath,
And i still feel you next to me,
Now, i can see.

The first one is the worst one,
When it comes to a broken heart,
Your first love, yeah, you're so young,
And you feel like a fallin' star,

There's a fire in the city,
That's burnin' out tonight,
You're breathing but you're barely alive,

The first one is the worst one,
When it comes, when it comes to a broken heart.

Spinnin' like a movie in my head,
I've seen a thousand times,
I've learned to take it hard,
And fall instead
of sittin' safe on the side lines.

Lost days,
Pictures fade,
Somehow, you're still miles away,
It's safe to say,

The first one is the worst one,
When it comes to a broken heart,
Your first love, yeah, you're so young,
And you feel like a fallin' star,

There's a fire in the city,
That's burnin' out tonight,
You're breathing but you're barely alive,

The first one is the worst one,
When it comes, when it comes to a broken heart.

'Cause I would run through a thunderstorm
just to kiss you,
I'm out here on my own,
Better now than i was before, but i miss you
and i want you to know.

I can't sleep,
It's hard to breath,
And i still feel you next to me,
and I can see, yeah

The first one is the worst one,
When it comes to a broken heart,
Your first love, yeah, you're so young,
And you feel like a fallin' star,

There's a fire in the city,
That's burnin' out tonight,
You're breathing but you're barely alive,

The first one is the worst one,
When it comes, when it comes to a broken heart.

The first one is the worst one,
When it comes to a broken heart,
Your first love, yeah, you're so young,
And you feel like a fallin' star,

There's a fire in the city,
That's burnin' out tonight,
You're breathing but you're barely alive,

The first one is the worst one,
When it comes, when it comes to a broken heart.

The first one is the worst one,
When it comes, when it comes to a broken heart.

This song so far explains how I felt at the moment. =)

Last Post?

2011-01-09T10:38:00.000+08:00

Hey guys,

I'm gonna stop blogging already.

Something happened and I really wish not to share or whatsoever cuz there's memories in this blog.

So yea,

Bye y'all!

Good day!

If and only if

2011-01-03T23:19:00.000+08:00

Hey homo's, sorry for slacking alot!

And I mean it!

And yea, a very HAPPY NEW YEAR guys!

Thing's pretty okay I guess?

But the new year's eve celebration was the best one so far!

Thank you guys for making not my day but my night! =D

Anyways, it was one heck of the night cuz we saw Colby O'Donis performed and it was heck great!

The best part is, we went for supper at the same place after the whole event!

It was soo awesome!

Haha didn't know I could get really close to him but wooohooo!

And I didn't snap any picture with him cuz I was actually kinda down.

Things didn't go as planned, not for the group but for myself >.<

Sometimes it's abit hard to know situations around right?

Maybe I should just close the curtain of my stained glass masquerade?

Yea, for the better right?

I don't want any things to go in between us that'll cause all kinds of shits.

My prayers is,

Dear God, i'm totally clueless at times. I just need you to show me the way. Please help me! And please take full care of her too! Thank You!

Things pretty okay at times and goes low too at times but it's tolerable tho my mood can go down at times but yea, i'll just bare with it.

World's ain't bout me but its about everyone living on earth but in my world, it's about you and me.

Take care alright?

And cheer up!

And that's it! =D

Sorry for the dusty blog, i'm getting lazier. =D

What's Coming Up?

2010-12-29T22:30:00.000+08:00

Hey moths, miss me?

Sorry for slacking, didn't really had the mood to blog. =D

Anyways incase you're wondering, my life is alright so far.

Full of rotting and boredoms.

Never end I guess for a kid who's having holiday now?

Anyways miracles? Gifts? Didn't work afterall.

It's abit disappointing but yea I got to understand. =)

Not easy tolerating but I'll do anything and I mean it anything to tolerate.

Things might go down at times but i'll never give up! =D

Anyways I've learned lessons from it!

It takes full patients and sincerity to gain a person's love and trust.

It takes willingness to build a better relationship.

When things go to a low, never ever give up!

Just keep yourself neutral, stay cool and continue what you've wished and decided for.

Anyways it's a decision that i'll never regret?

Why?

Because she digged out this special feeling that I thought i've lost it.

Thanks for digging it out =)

Muacks! =D

Anyways New Year is coming and I guess i'm heading for countdowns again?

If only you could join? Sadly she has to celebrate her best bud's birthday.

Hmmm's

And I believe God will give me a good year despite everything that i've been through.

It's been more than a year now and I guess i'm growing better from that sad horror.

TataZ!

When Much Becomes Too Little.

2010-12-22T02:28:00.001+08:00

Hey gays, miss me?

Anyways I suddenly had the mood to blog, its more about sharing to make yourself feel better?

Days been passing glance and I only see her in memories still.

It's so near but it felt so far!

I guess I've put my hopes too high. Always ending up with disappointments.

Thought I could make it a gift.

Thought I could make it something special in the merriest coming days.

I've stabbed myself hard and everytime it gets close to dead, i'll remind myself, patient's a virtue, hold on!

Woah!

I can be counselor huh?

Holding myself with pieces of small meaningful advices.

I guess i'm pretty impatient?

Hehe.

Anyways, want to thank the people around me for supports. My family at most especially!

My mom's like more excited than me?

She's always talking to me about it and i'm like "it's super cool to have such mom!"

Yea, she likes teasing and disturbing me as well which is fairly good and funny.

In fact, my whole family love teasing me.

Cool family! With you guy's sense of humor, it's old school but still funny with the expressions you guys gave!

Love you all loads!

Guess I need to start putting hopes into moderate pace cause I only have inadequate holds and strengths in emotion to this.

Haha I actually do have formidable holds and strengths but i'm still a human right?

Human's goes low at times!

And yea, I had a conversation with my twin and my mom.

My mom's told me, don't you feel awkward driving my old car around on dates and stuffs?

I'm like, at least it's better than my junkie damaged car!

My twin came in "Yea, with all the CLAK CLAK sound!"

Mom joined in a sudden "Yea driving that car on your date? You'll most probably won't be seeing her around already."

I'm shocked "MOM!"

My mom is pretty sporting! So pardon her, she even interrogated my friend who just had a girlfriend and we're like laughing loud in my room!

Hehe

I guess i'm actually already grateful to have a car to move around!

Old or new, as long it moves and it's in perfect condition right?

I think that's it?

I'm in a dead zone now, was having hyperthermia in Eugene's last night and cause of that, I didn't manage to sleep.

Don't have any long cotton to cover myself so I had to fold myself and cover myself with 3 freezing pillows.

Works a little tho.

Woke up darn early and captain ball.

It was okay?

I guess.

So yea whole day out and night i'm still awake with no sleep at all.

OUT

It's 2.30am now, I should sleep before i'm zombiefied again.

My last sentence for this post,

Let me see her in reality please? No more wondering with her in memories.

Pretty please and thanks.

Nights folks.

Behind the lines.

2010-12-18T00:47:00.002+08:00

I guess most of you readers know I left my previous church for some particular reasons?

Firstly, to those out there blogging bout my family cursing em' and I, I guess you're not qualified to be a christian huh?

Why?

Dear blinds and deafs, this post is for you all and its called the commandments for dummies! Yes you dummies! =P

I thought I might ignore you people but I had to admit, I do miss the memories and funs with you guys but I guess you guys gotta know this, shut up if you all don't know what's going on behind your back alright, those who wrote 'you and your family shall reap what you sowed', I guess thou shall reap what thou sowed too huh?

Didn't know the commandments in the bible taught us to curse and blame others for what's happening in your life?

Grow up!

Read the Bible!

I don't really read bible and yes I admit but I at least note myself to the important commandments and act to it!

Moreover, bible taught us to bring people to God!

Calling yourselves a Christian?

You don't even deserve the title Christian!

Why!

Cause you don't act like one!

You don't think like one!

All the things that that church teach is curse curse curse the rebels!

You call that Christian act?

OUT!

P.S. I'm still praying for y'all the see the truth and if you take my actions the wrong way, that's your business, I was just trying to help.

Oh yea! FOR YOU ALL's INFORMATION! MY GRANDMOM IS HEALED FROM A HORRIBLE HEART ATTACK AND SHE's WALKING NOW! DOCTORS CAN'T EVEN EXPLAIN HER HEALINGS AND MIRACLES!

I guess you guys gotta know that GOD IS STILL WITH MY FAMILY!

=P

AND P.S.S. MY FAMILY IS LIVING GREAT NOW AND HAPPY NOW AND WE'RE NOT HUNGERED FOR YOUR DAMN MONIES!

=P

Best Wish for the Best Gift =)

2010-12-11T09:30:00.002+08:00

Dear God,

I know You're listening to every thoughts in my heart.

Everywords counts and I humbly confess those words are honest and sincere words.

All I want for this year Christmas is

I don't have to tell You here right God because I believe You know who already.

;)

If I were to get her as a gift for this year Christmas, i'll receive her as a gift of a lifetime, a gift from God, a blessing from God!

A blessing that is more than enough, blessing that I'd always wanted and waiting for.

Dear God, before I end my wish here, I would love to thank You for bringing her to my life.

Now,

Dear Retard,

You're always special to me. Everything we shared about last night its all true and sincere.

I just want to let you know that you're a special girl that gave me this special feelings.

And also I know you're a gift from God to me.

Words can't explain it all and all I need is a person to love, to cherish and to treasure.

I got countless of love to give.

Remember!

You're not retarded!

I actually have different definition of retard for you =P

Yea,

You're special!

That's it!

If the wishes here is granted, i'll treasure it as a memory of a lifetime.

when boredom strikes

2010-12-09T19:42:00.002+08:00

Yes, hello there! I'm Mr. Boring and I love getting bored.

=.=

I tried making an effort but was hoping that you'll make an effort instead to bring us out.

Cuz every effort I made, its always down.

Hmmmmm.........*blows wind*

Out...........